Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

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candymancan
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Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by candymancan »

So my younger by 7 years brother supriority complex got him again... He is Mr E5 Army man who just got out at 26 who knows everything and never takes advice from his older brother.

He just bought a 2014 SRT8 Grand Cherokee.. was 40k$ he has a 780$ month car payment lol...

Advice #1. Why buy a 3rd vehicle he has a 2017 chevy impala Ls or whatever the highest end model is.. He still has car payments obviously on that.. And he has the 2013 camaro that we both got together. I signed it over to him 3 months ago after we both paid it off. He has no Job yet, got out medically and got retirement so i guess his combat pay/retirment and medical pay is getting to his head. Buy a damn house instead ? Use the 800 to pay your cards off so you can get out of my house lol ?

He is staying here to pay off 14k in credit card bills... and he buys a 40k$ car.

Advice #2. I told him to not bother getting newer Jeep with the 3.6 5.7 and 6.1 or 6 4 hemi.. They still to this dsy have lifter and abnormal cam wear problems. He ignores me and buys this Jeep without bringing his more experienced brother over to check the vehicle out.


He shows up at the house with this Jeep.. its beautiful 10 feet away but it has alot of paint chips in it and clearly the dealership just did touch uos as the paint was runny and still mushy on some chips... it was clearly wrapped and they did a bad job unwrapping it as it has wrap specs in between the plastic and metal panels.. Missing the JEEP emblem on the hatch.. Hood doesnt stay open it needs a new hydraulic arm.. drivers side window button doesnt work, you have to (play) with it to get it to work sometimes.

And the biggest thing of all is i noticed the engine has a ticking sound to it. Its no damn injector tick.. i can tell its a lifter tick.. i can hear it on each stroke the engine makes.

And no im not being nit picky on the other things.. for a Jeep that has only 30k miles and was 40k$ it shouldnt be missing rear hatch emblems leaving two holes exposed.. the wrap job should have been taken off better.. and the electrical issues on the door buttons should have been fixed, the hood should have had the hydralic arm replaced.. i mean thats stupid stuff a dealership should fix in my opinion..

I dunno... i wish he didnt act so superior.. He litterally never listens and talks and talks and he thinks he is smarter thrn everyone... but he isnt... I mean the other day his kid locked the bathroom door and closed it.. i gave him a screw driver told him to take the knob off to get to the lock and he couldnt even figure that out.


No offense to you military guys.. but this isnt the brother i remember.. The army made him stupid and gave him this huge complex that really bugs me.. He has this im better then everyone attitude now
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tedlovesjeeps71
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by tedlovesjeeps71 »

When you say he got out at 26, I'm assuming you mean 26 years old? Did something like 6 years maybe? Made E5.
I see "issues" in a great number of young NCOs in the military today. You should understand that there are many reasons people change from their time in the service.
Some never accepted the military lifestyle.
Some just walked through the "gentler" basic training.
Some had jobs which allowed them to do the bare minimum and it was accepted.
But, given our dual conflicts in some nasty parts of the world, some had a serious wake up call. Back to back deployments and being away from home (America) can effect people in weird ways. The military also had a very high turnover rate due to everything from KIA and injuries to simply being burned out from deployments. There are also a lot of kids who simply used the military to get benefits and had no interest in staying. When the military has large losses it tends to feel it most in leadership positions. It's not easy finding and developing a good leader and the need is always there. Often people are promoted way before they are ready (if they ever will be) and they either can't hack it or they use their position to benefit them.
Then there are actual folks who have real injuries/issues that are because of their service.
I don't know your brother, nor his history, so I can't judge. What I can say is it isn't surprising he is financially irresponsible and lacks the ability to listen. I see it a lot and I've been wearing a uniform for 23+ years.
If you are supporting him (house,food,etc), THAT will be your way to get through to him. If he lived on his own and you just witnessed his stupidity, that's one thing. Advice is rarely taken. But if he is living a foolish, lavish lifestyle and you are helping foot the bills... You'd be best to reign him in ASAP.

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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by SJTD »

That's what I was thinking.

He may think he's an adult because he's 26 but an adult is someone who supports himself.

And who the ell sells a car to someone with no job?
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candymancan
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by candymancan »

tedlovesjeeps71 wrote:When you say he got out at 26, I'm assuming you mean 26 years old? Did something like 6 years maybe? Made E5.
I see "issues" in a great number of young NCOs in the military today. You should understand that there are many reasons people change from their time in the service.
Some never accepted the military lifestyle.
Some just walked through the "gentler" basic training.
Some had jobs which allowed them to do the bare minimum and it was accepted.
But, given our dual conflicts in some nasty parts of the world, some had a serious wake up call. Back to back deployments and being away from home (America) can effect people in weird ways. The military also had a very high turnover rate due to everything from KIA and injuries to simply being burned out from deployments. There are also a lot of kids who simply used the military to get benefits and had no interest in staying. When the military has large losses it tends to feel it most in leadership positions. It's not easy finding and developing a good leader and the need is always there. Often people are promoted way before they are ready (if they ever will be) and they either can't hack it or they use their position to benefit them.
Then there are actual folks who have real injuries/issues that are because of their service.
I don't know your brother, nor his history, so I can't judge. What I can say is it isn't surprising he is financially irresponsible and lacks the ability to listen. I see it a lot and I've been wearing a uniform for 23+ years.
If you are supporting him (house,food,etc), THAT will be your way to get through to him. If he lived on his own and you just witnessed his stupidity, that's one thing. Advice is rarely taken. But if he is living a foolish, lavish lifestyle and you are helping foot the bills... You'd be best to reign him in ASAP.

Hes 26 so hes veen in for 6 years now. They arent really doing much fighting in the middle east besides specisl forces.

He was infantry and was in iraq once and kuwait once two deployments... kuwait he did nothing.. iraw he was in headquarters and did nothing.

So he has no ptsd.. he just got out medically because of joint issues and back problems.

But what im saying is he talks ALOT .. ims do this ims di that.. first it was he wanted to do specisl firces.. be a ranger so he got out ina ranger battalian then he changed his mind and weasled his way out medically.

Now that hes out he wants to be a private contractor like blackwater stuff.. he talks alot about bengazi and he wants to do embassy jobs.. thr list goes on and on.. but he doesnt do any of it.

I guess what i saying is he didnt need a 3rd car.. let alone a 40k srt8 jeep lol... specially since hes living here with his wife and kid.. i woulda got a job first and a house 2nd..

As for how he got the czr.. hes still in the army waiting to be fully discharged so thats his job.. plus he has retirement pay.. combat pay.. and now medical pay thats all considered income. You dont need a job to buy a car. You just need proof of income
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by will e »

I would tell him that he can't keep three cars at my house. He's taking advantage of you. NO ONE should buy a third car while living temporarily at someone else's house. It shows lack of awareness.
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tedlovesjeeps71
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by tedlovesjeeps71 »

candymancan wrote:
tedlovesjeeps71 wrote:When you say he got out at 26, I'm assuming you mean 26 years old? Did something like 6 years maybe? Made E5.
I see "issues" in a great number of young NCOs in the military today. You should understand that there are many reasons people change from their time in the service.
Some never accepted the military lifestyle.
Some just walked through the "gentler" basic training.
Some had jobs which allowed them to do the bare minimum and it was accepted.
But, given our dual conflicts in some nasty parts of the world, some had a serious wake up call. Back to back deployments and being away from home (America) can effect people in weird ways. The military also had a very high turnover rate due to everything from KIA and injuries to simply being burned out from deployments. There are also a lot of kids who simply used the military to get benefits and had no interest in staying. When the military has large losses it tends to feel it most in leadership positions. It's not easy finding and developing a good leader and the need is always there. Often people are promoted way before they are ready (if they ever will be) and they either can't hack it or they use their position to benefit them.
Then there are actual folks who have real injuries/issues that are because of their service.
I don't know your brother, nor his history, so I can't judge. What I can say is it isn't surprising he is financially irresponsible and lacks the ability to listen. I see it a lot and I've been wearing a uniform for 23+ years.
If you are supporting him (house,food,etc), THAT will be your way to get through to him. If he lived on his own and you just witnessed his stupidity, that's one thing. Advice is rarely taken. But if he is living a foolish, lavish lifestyle and you are helping foot the bills... You'd be best to reign him in ASAP.

Hes 26 so hes veen in for 6 years now. They arent really doing much fighting in the middle east besides specisl forces.

He was infantry and was in iraq once and kuwait once two deployments... kuwait he did nothing.. iraw he was in headquarters and did nothing.

So he has no ptsd.. he just got out medically because of joint issues and back problems.

But what im saying is he talks ALOT .. ims do this ims di that.. first it was he wanted to do specisl firces.. be a ranger so he got out ina ranger battalian then he changed his mind and weasled his way out medically.

Now that hes out he wants to be a private contractor like blackwater stuff.. he talks alot about bengazi and he wants to do embassy jobs.. thr list goes on and on.. but he doesnt do any of it.

I guess what i saying is he didnt need a 3rd car.. let alone a 40k srt8 jeep lol... specially since hes living here with his wife and kid.. i woulda got a job first and a house 2nd..

As for how he got the czr.. hes still in the army waiting to be fully discharged so thats his job.. plus he has retirement pay.. combat pay.. and now medical pay thats all considered income. You dont need a job to buy a car. You just need proof of income
So his back and knees are so bad he can't be in the army (and willing to accept the disability) but he wants to go play blackwater?
Sounds like a turd.
Sorry, I've seen way too many "work the system" and it is something I find dishonorable.
Hopefully you can find a way to drill some sense in him. I doubt it but good luck.
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jpswapmohn
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by jpswapmohn »

I bet Rgr Bat was a wake up call! Until you get tabbed, those that are at any rank can drop you. And Rgr school (tab) is nothing compared to RASP..think it’s called RIP now. Lots of wannabes say they coulda woulda shoulda...but few do, and fewer still can maintain that life for long.

I won’t say anything about your brother, but I spent most of my later life in the community and it is no old man’s game. I lasted 5 years and knew it was time to move out. Granted, I was an “old man” coming into it at 34. The “kids” loved trying to break the old man.. 8v) I never let ‘me, but there was a price to pay and i was willing to pay it. No regrets.

Zede or whatever blackwater is now is not the lucrative prospect it once was. There are a ton of companies out there and they can all get folks from other countries with military service for cheaper.. And the market is full of former operators interested in playing those reindeer games now that there aren’t heavy operations and high demand.

None the less, I would definitely give him a move-out date and hold him to it. Some times tough love is the only kind that registers. And tell him to stop talking.. that is a true sign of an amateur, a want-a-be, and a never was.
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by SOLSAKS »

damn
never fails
the nicer you are to someone
the less they respect you.

(not 100% of the time, but most of the time)

he is not being respectful or appreciative

......and you know all this already.

some folks think they are entitled to treat family like crap and get away with it.

my dads favorite saying: "when you are thrown into the world by the hair of the head
and you don't have any help from anyone, you will either buckle down and act right
or end up in jail or a street bum."

good luck, hope he wises up.

you are kind for helping him so far

but jswapmohns advice of "tuff luv" is prob the best !

dave in nc :)

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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by SJTD »

Have him read this thread.
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by XSapper »

tedlovesjeeps71 wrote:
candymancan wrote:
tedlovesjeeps71 wrote:

So his back and knees are so bad he can't be in the army (and willing to accept the disability) but he wants to go play blackwater?
Sounds like a turd.
Sorry, I've seen way too many "work the system" and it is something I find dishonorable.
Hopefully you can find a way to drill some sense in him. I doubt it but good luck.
Yeah, kinda my thoughts. Irritating when you know people that need / deserve disability are giving the run around.
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tedlovesjeeps71
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by tedlovesjeeps71 »

XSapper wrote:
tedlovesjeeps71 wrote:
candymancan wrote:
Yeah, kinda my thoughts. Irritating when you know people that need / deserve disability are giving the run around.
It’s become an epidemic. I can’t hardly talk to a vet today that doesn’t have a disability rating and receives a check from the government. Many of them are just fine or not really any worst off than life would have been to them had they chosen a different career path.
Some guys are seriously messed up. No joke, honest injuries, combat wounds, etc. they should be taken care of with no qualms. But private snuffy who tore her Achilles heel in basic training, found out she’s diabetic there, and claims PTSD should not be getting a free ride the rest of her life. (Yes, I know that girl. She will have a normal life and get a check every month for only going through basic training)

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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by will e »

I have a few friends who are vets. None of them collect disability, or if they do they are smart enough not to tell me.
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by XSapper »

tedlovesjeeps71 wrote:
XSapper wrote:
tedlovesjeeps71 wrote:
Yeah, kinda my thoughts. Irritating when you know people that need / deserve disability are giving the run around.
It’s become an epidemic. I can’t hardly talk to a vet today that doesn’t have a disability rating and receives a check from the government. Many of them are just fine or not really any worst off than life would have been to them had they chosen a different career path.
Some guys are seriously messed up. No joke, honest injuries, combat wounds, etc. they should be taken care of with no qualms. But private snuffy who tore her Achilles heel in basic training, found out she’s diabetic there, and claims PTSD should not be getting a free ride the rest of her life. (Yes, I know that girl. She will have a normal life and get a check every month for only going through basic training)
I was exposed to nerve agent, made to take untested medicine (PB tablets) and given an untested anthrax vaccination which caused health issues for myself and many others. The Army refused to acknowledge anything was wrong with returning soldiers. When I got out in 93 and went to the VA they refused to acknowledge anything other than PTSD. Refused to do anything for me unless I would agree to a psychological exam. I never went back and made sure I had a job with good insurance. The VA system is broken and I see a very slim chance of it being fixed anytime soon, it's the first thing I think of when people talk about government run medical insurance.
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by dodgerammit »

XSapper wrote:he VA system is broken and I see a very slim chance of it being fixed anytime soon, it's the first thing I think of when people talk about government run medical insurance.
I'm not the only one who thinks this, I see.
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tedlovesjeeps71
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by tedlovesjeeps71 »

dodgerammit wrote:
XSapper wrote:he VA system is broken and I see a very slim chance of it being fixed anytime soon, it's the first thing I think of when people talk about government run medical insurance.
I'm not the only one who thinks this, I see.
Nope, far from the only one.
People who volunteer to serve do so with the understanding that it may result in loss of life or limb or other injuries. They are also told that they will be given quality care.
My early years in combat arms I lived on 800mg Motrin. Going to sick call was discouraged and the aid station gave out Motrin like pez candy. I will say that once one gets past the aid station to an actual hospital, there is a better chance for real care. Not 100% but a chance. After my last dance with an IED I began to deteriorate. Had trouble running at first but eventually gritting my teeth didn’t help. When I reached for my PC one day and it dropped me to the floor I knew something was seriously wrong. Began trying to get help but it took literally years (3 in fact) of being given Motrin, icy hot, steroid creams, and physical therapy (which made it worse) before I was finally scheduled for an MRI. Once they had that they were able to see how my vertebrae were cracked/fragmented and how the chips shift and abrade against the nerves. They gave me two options, injections or spinal surgery. Unfortunately, it took so long to find something that worked (injections) that my active duty career came to an end. I was able to continue to serve in the reserves but my first two years there I was a shadow of myself as I had to rely on the VA to allow the injections. More red tape, repeat x-rays (useless) and wait for a new MRI. All the time I waddled around with a cane in extreme pain. I had a meeting in Denver with a “specialist”. Drove all the way there and had to wait 2.5 hours beyond my appointment time to be seen. They take me back to an office where the “specialist” is looking at my MRI. He says quite simply “damn, your screwed.”
Surgery has a very low success rate and fusing my spine is a guarantee I will lose most of my mobility. He scheduled more injections (about damn time) and said to keep getting them as long as they help. Eventually I will build a tolerance to them and I will have to look for other options.
I try not to complain. I serve because I believe it is an honor to serve and important as a citizen. I don’t regret my efforts or my trips downrange. I don’t even lament being blown up 6 times. It’s part of the job.
I can only say that the medical care promised has been less than stellar. I don’t know many who have had great experiences.

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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by Tanker »

A friend of ours is having a hard time with the VA. VA what hurts? Him My back. VA why does it hurt? Him Sorry cant tell you. VA why? Just cant Have to wait 100 yrs to tell you. VA What can you tell us? Him Nothing. Hes a Green Beret 2 tours combat,POW. Sorry all mission are classified Mr VA. At lease I have had no problem.
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by deckroid »

SJTD wrote:
And who the ell sells a car to someone with no job?
Someone who saw him coming a long ways off...

And as far as Brotherly Advice to Mr Army... we all know people like this. We bang our heads in frustration :banghead: at them. I knew those type in the military and out and some who never served. I have helped out family members who needed a hand up, but when my nephew bought a BMW bike and new cellphone while not giving anything to the house... rent, food or hell... just helping out around the place, my wife and I sat him down and had a come to Jesus meeting. Explained a few things and set a move out deadline.

And 40k for a Jeep with that many issues is nuts. Sounds like something that was leased out as a driving billboard. Those things are always beat to crap.
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Re: Smh.. brothers superiority complex got him again

Post by SJTD »

Wife's niece asked for money to pay the car insurance. Texted my wife who didn't respond.

Her husband drives for a living and they're trying to pay off his truck ASAP so we probably would have done it if she had called back.

She and other fambly came over last weekend for a barbeque. Sister in law in law asked her where she had had her nails done. I prolly should have asked how she had money for her nails but had to borrow money for insurance. I kinda wished we had loaned her the money so I could have come unglued.
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