Success!!
So I took both manifolds to the part store.
Old auto parts guy looks at the bolts the younger guy sold me yesterday for the flange clamp because I bent the original Chinese studs that came with it and shakes his head and says " I can't believe he sold you that" and gets me replacement studs and 2 brass nuts. He said not to use bolts with washers or any washers on the flange at all.
He also says that the copper ones are for headers not manifolds, and that I should just use the ones they sent with it.
So I go home and reinstall it with the gasket dorman sent me instead of the copper one. Tighten down all the bolts, then on the last bolt on the rear I'm lying on my back tightening it and notice that it's not going all the way in. My wrench starts slipping. So I backed off then tighten again. Then I notice that it's all the way tight, but not all the way down. Like a 3/8 gap. So plan was to add 2 or 3 washers to compensate to make it tighten up. I also didn't like that I had slipped some on the head of bolt so I went and removed one from my part rig. It was about 3/8 shorter.......lol
My buddy who helped me re install the engine seems to have gotten the wrong bolt somehow. And it was where you can't see it unless your right underneath it.
I installed the 3/8" shorter bolt from my parts rig and it all went away. That made the difference. What I thought felt like a leak from the flange was probably just blowing out the last port in the small space between them.
Been a pain in the neck for the last 6 weeks!
Now I can properly tune it without contamination to my O2 sensor.